muzak

click here to listen to a rough first track from a band i'm in

new fotos

on our flickr.
enjoy
-love-

red and green

malachi is really enjoying the whole holiday gig this year (which makes it even more enjoyable for us). when we read him a book about Christmas (which he pronounces "Chri-mas"), he finds a spot to "blow out the candles" since we told him that Christmas is Jesus' birthday. he's pretty sharp. conley has been super sick (bronchitis and ear infection) but he's doing better. he's really a little fighter still. the doctor was astounded by his quick recovery. the kid is a machine.
thanks for caring enough about us to read this. have a great holiday season. -love-

going strong

so things are going pretty well. despite a 14-day skirmish with a head cold, we're coming out on top. Conley has had another issue checked off his "list." his eyes have checked out as a-okay with the specialist. we're now just waiting for them to start giving him physical therapy on his foot (it's still turned out a little). otherwise, he is doing great. he's barely throwing up any more, which is a huge step for him. we had a great thanksgiving up at Nanie's and looking forward to a great Christmas. we also just uploaded a new batch of pictures to our flickr account. click here to see them. have a great holiday season.
-love-





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the best in baseball

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see more of our photos by clicking here.

-love-

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,the fruit of the womb a reward. - Psalm 127:3

like a polaroid picture

what's better than two boys? two really cute boys. if you'd like to see more photos, there's a bunch on our flickr, which you can click on in the sidebar on the right of this page. Malachi is really doing well with Conley, turning into a soft big brother. Conley is growing well and getting pretty interactive. looking forward to holidays so we can dress them up in some pretty ridiculous outfits. I think Conley will be featuring a pointy-hooded red velour santa getup passed down from his brother; Malachi will probably just end up wearing some fake antlers or maybe an entire deer skin and a red clown nose. who knows what bethany has up her sleeve. anyway, enjoy the photos. maybe we'll get some video clips again soon and put those up. be blessed.
-love-

in other news

just when you thought he couldn't get cuter, right? conley is doing well. he had a developmental evaluation recently. the so-so news: he needs some physical therapy for his leg and some other therapy for a few motor-skills. the really good news: they said he looks great and some of his attentiveness skills are way ahead, that of a 12 month old (hereditary paternal ADHD already setting in)! so thanks for your continued prayers. malachi is developing at warp speed also. sometimes i wonder if he's turning 3 or 5 on his next birthday. to say we are blessed parents is an understatement. glad to update all of you caring, curious [ :) ] souls. -love-

...and growing

so we had a visit from the child development woman the other day. according to her, conley is already starting to catch up to his correct developmental status. he has some skills of a 2 month old, some of a 3 month old, and some of a 4 month old (his actual age). that was encouraging. we're hoping that things continue in that direction. the fall is coming on strong and beautiful. with only a few days left in fishing season, malachi and i paid a visit to the brook. after one big shiner, malachi was ready to "go back to malachi's house." good times.

life in general

just a quick update: conley is doing well. we've had a visiting nurse come out a couple of times. he's grown over 2 lbs. in the month he's been home. so that's great. malachi is still doing well having him around. just waiting to have the Child Development Services check in on him to see how he is progressing. sometimes i hold him, look at him, and it's a little weird, thinking of how very easily he could not be with us now. sometimes it's like he's a different person than that petite creature that lived in that other world, other time. so thankful.
-love-
p.s. some may remember our post about joey, conley's NICU neighbor. he was born in almost three months early back in june. he experienced a lot of complications and has needed a lot of prayer. now he's 6+ lbs and moving forward. still a way away from coming home, he needs to work on bottle feeding and his oxygen requirements. please pray for him and his family. here's a couple pics

update

it's going on 2 weeks tomorrow that conley has made his way home. it was a little surreal at first, holding this child in our own home, the child who sometimes seemed like just a character in a long dream of ours. now he is real life. at first he just hung out and slept, now he's starting to act like a real baby and be fussy from time to time. i start to get frustrated with his crying and then remind myself that the alternative of not having him there at all was so close to being a reality. of course, that doesn't take away all my frustration, but it sure puts things into perspective. malachi loves conley and very rarely gets jealous with him or rough. that is a huge blessing. in the midst of our joy, it's still the same adjustment any family has to make going from having one child (a toddler who can communicate quite effectively, sleeps pretty much all night, and doesn't throw up for unknown reasons) to adding a new baby to the mix. he actually sleeps most of the way through the night, however, which is really great. we appreciate your continued prayers for this adjustment and that as conley is monitored by specialists over the next year or so, that he develops as expected and suffers no long term complications. as of this moment, he's a very cute, cuddly little boy who can't get enough of his mom (i wonder why). thanks so much. one day at a time
-love-

homecoming

and so yesterday was the final time that we had to drive to and from the hospital in order to interact with our son. it was a beautiful thing. to see his monitor on standby, with no wires attached to his chunky little torso. he just laid there with his arms wide open so as to say, "here i am, take me home." and so we did, with fear and trepidation. a child who by some stretches shouldn't even be alive today, whose fate we anticipated from day to day, hour to hour. 107 days in one building, he had a half confused, half scared look on his beautiful face as he approached the sunlight and entered the backseat.
now we're home and he's such a good natured little boy. he also is blessed with the most loving, gentle, and interested big brother. malachi loves him to pieces. now we learn to adjust with and two bodies, minds, and souls for which to care. conley is an incredibly loud sleeper with continual grunting and noisiness. we'd appreciate any more prayers you could muster up for him to get over the acid reflux he's struggled with and for us to get some good solid rest. we are incredibly thankful to God and indebted both to Him and you as you have ceaselessly prayed for us and our little man. thanks for being part of this miracle. we'll continue to update since this is not an end, but surely, a beginning. we'll continue one day at a time.
-immeasurable love-

bottom of the ninth

conley has this one wrapped up. bottom of the ninth, conley is on the mound with a 5-0 lead, 2 outs, 0 and 2 to the #10 batter. time for strike three. he passed his car seat test today, had his circumcision, and is eating like a horse. tuesday morning can't come too soon. thank you to all who have been standing. to the finish.
-love-

a baby

just take a look.
1 week (give or take) if things go as planned. please pray. thank you so much. we can't say it enough. one day at a time.
-love-

nearly untethered

today will be the first day that we will see our son free from anything in his body. no breathing line lodged in his trachea, no iv protruding from his skin, and no feeding tube stuck up his nose. just a few monitors stuck to his epidermis. thanks be to God. i think we're getting close. one day at a time.
-love-

trucking along

conley continues to make progress as he looks forward to the goal of coming home. he has a checklist written on a whiteboard above his bed and he's already got a few things checked off. he's still off oxygen which is really something to be thankful for and now he's just focusing on the feeding thing. the progress he is making is phenomenal for a kid in his circumstances. he just needs to have the strength and stamina to be feeding completely from the bottle. then that last tube will be removed. we look forward to the day. at home, bethany is re-nesting as we prepare for the homecoming. one day at a time.
-love-

falling asleep at the bottle

conley is now off the oxygen tube. that leaves only one tube left for him to remove... the feeding tube. he's been doing well being off oxygen, however, if he ends up needing a little help again, it's right near him. he's been taking many of his feedings via the bottle although he doesn't always enjoy it, and that's our final hurdle. it was good to have his warm head against my shoulder, to look right into his eyes, to feel his short little breaths on my skin. it's good to have my son alive.
one day at a time

best day...ever

so today was quite a fulfilling day. i was able to be there for conley's 8:oo feeding and he was compliant, quite amazing. he took all of 43cc and, in fact, was still sucking when i pulled the bottle out. he's had much more success since they've been giving him formula mixed with rice cereal to thicken it up. we just hung out and he fell asleep on my shoulder. very special times. part of me wishes i had a picture of it to share with you, part of me is quite okay with just having the image to myself. please pray he continues to take full feedings via the bottle more frequently and continues to wane in his need for oxygen. he was down to only 30% oxygen on the lowest setting of pressure when i left him today. great progress. one day at a time
-love-

slacking

sorry for the egregious delay in posting. here's the news... conley is over five and a half pounds now. he's so beautiful and looking so healthy. working on his "homeward" plan now. he really needs to get in line with this feeding thing. he's made some progress and is learning to like it, but he needs to get his biological clock in a rhythm of waking and eating on a regular schedule as well as wanting to keep the bottle in his mouth. the nurse very helpfully explained tonight that probably because he had a tube stuck down his throat for a while (for breathing and eating) that to have something put in his mouth brings about negative associations for him. so, it will take time. his oxygen help is still very little he just needs to be over and done with it. thanks for your faithfulness in praying. stay in touch.
-love-
pics of conley with mommy and pepe'

inheritance

good news is that conley is chomping for the bottle when it's feeding time. also, he's progressing in his coordination between eating and breathing. unfortunately, once he starts chomping, he gets upset and spits up. they think he might have acid reflux and are giving him medicine (basically Zantac). i told them that condition runs in the family. please pray that he works through that as well as his oxygen requirements. one day at a time
also, please keep the family of my dad's cousin in prayer. her premature son, Jasper, had a rough start and was in the Brooklyn NICU for some time. after some progress in his health, he suffered a stroke and passed away on sunday. words cannot express our sorrow and pain for them. please pray peace, comfort, and strength for their family. thank you so much
-love-

light at the end

conley is doing well. he's 5lbs. 3oz. and growing. still working on the oxygen thing. i'm praying and hoping he just wakes up one day and is done with it. the nurses have said that's how it happens sometimes. kids will just ride the fence for a long period of time and then, suddenly, be like "all right, i'll breathe on my own now, thanks." hoping that day comes soon. he's also been progressing on the bottle-feeding gig. similarly, a process, but he's got the hang of it as far as how. it's just getting him motivated and awake enough to take it. so...
one day at a time
-love-

moved

hey guys. conley was moved to continuing care nursery today. he no longer needs intensive care. so, yeah, that's really great. i'll fill you all in with more when i have a little more time. just working on feeding with the bottle. he took 38 of 45cc from a bottle so he's headed in the right direction. thank you so much. now to just get him home.
-love-

do i hear 5?

conley is 4lbs. 12oz. and this morning, he took 33 of his 43cc of milk from a bottle. what a champ. the nurse said he probably would have taken all of the 43cc but she had started the first 10cc of the feed when the specialists showed up. good stuff. they've asked us to bring in a mobile for his crib because he's alert and awake quite often now. also, he's been steady on 25cc, the lowest setting of pressure for his oxygen. the final step is to wean his oxygen % down, which they're working on. across the aisle, joey has been doing pretty decent himself. please keep praying. one day at a time.
-love-

almost normal life?

at this point in the game, looking at pictures like that bring as much longing and pain as joy. we're beyond ready to have him home. he's closing in on the prize. the feeding team came in today to give him a shot at the bottle again, but he wasn't in that sort of mood, which is pretty common. he's doing well on his oxygen, at the lowest setting of pressure. so we're praying that he continues to progress in that direction and can wean down on the oxygen % and be done with that whole business. he's really digging the crib scene, too. he's done better overall since moving out of the bio-dome. MTV is actually planning on coming and doing an episode of "Cribs" with him and his new place, so that should be cool. one day at a time.
-love-
here's the little man with his auntie hannah. his good friend katrina also visited him this week.

out of the incubator and into the...

we got some really encouraging news today from the NICU. they've moved conley into a crib, meaning he is holding his temp and not needing the heat support from an incubator. we're looking forward to seeing him in that tonight. also, the feeding specialists came in yesterday or this morning and fed him almost half of a feeding through a bottle. such good news to hear that he's acclimating to that. they'll be trying that again on sunday when the specialists are in again. please pray that continues to go well. no pics lately, sorry. we'll take some tonight. on a side note, please pray for friends of ours who have a relative out in wyoming/colorado. she was working on natural gas lines all alone when an explosion occured. over 80% of her body was burned and she had to get back in her truck, drive to where she had cell phone signal and call for help. this was in wyoming and they had to airlift her to a colorado burn unit, the only place nearby with any hope of helping her. her name is shannon and she was initially given a 10% chance to live. every day for her brings new surgeries to endure, infections to fight, and so on. she continues to be in a medically induced coma. please pray for shannon, her husband and child(ren). one day at a time.
-love-

clues

hey guys, real quick. they're trying to figure out the deal with conley. they're thinking it's less of him retaining fluid and more of his lungs just needed to heal up. please just pray that the doctors have wisdom and that God restores his lung tissue. thanks so much. please don't forget to pray for jasper and joey, colleagues in prematurity. one day at a time.
-love-

tripled up

in poker, when you push all in, get called by another person and win, that's called "doubling up." you have twice as many chips at then end of that hand as at the beginning (for those of you who play cards or get sucked into watching it on t.v. when you're clicking through ESPN on the weekends, you understand this). when you push and get two callers and win, that's called "tripling up." even better.
when this all started, conley was all in with 1lb. 8oz. and less than premium pocket cards. in the past 10 weeks (yep, 10 weeks as of today), he's tripled up. last night he weighed in at 4lbs. 8oz. he's actually probably a little less than that since he's been retaining some fluids, but i'd say he's in a winning position as of yet. with regards to that, please pray that when they give him medicine today to help him clear out some fluids, that it does the trick and his lungs can wean down on oxygen. he's not getting a whole lot of help right now but he seems to be stuck on his current setting of pressure. thanks so much for your prayers. one day at a time.
-love-

the marathon continues

we've been away, haven't had a chance to update. conley has surpassed 4lbs. he's 4lbs. 4oz. and continuing to grow. his leg looks a little better and it will probably work itself out as time continues. he's had some solid days with his breathing, which, we found out tonight is his last hurdle before he goes to the level 2 nursery (being off the nasal oxygen). the more his lungs mature and clear up and the more weight he gains the better he'll do with that. he is cuter every time we go which makes it harder and harder to say goodbye. as you pray for conley, please continue to lift up his neighbor joey, his cousin jasper (no updates as of late) and a friend of ours' nephew austin who was born at MMC 5 weeks early and has been having some trouble with a heart murmur as well as with his breathing. thank you so much. we love you all. one day at a time

tubby time

conley took his first bath tonight. he loved it. here's how it looked:

another thing to keep in your prayers, Occupational Therapy came in and noticed that because of his continual tummy-positioning and other factors, his foot has turned outward. this is very common, unfortunately, with NICU babies. please pray it works out and that all the nurses keep his regimen of exercise and correct positioning. they've all been great so far and we know they'll continue to be. also, a very urgent prayer need, a cousin of my dad's just had a 3lb. baby in NYC. his name is jasper and he has had complications with his lungs as well as some bleeding in his brain. please pray for him. our heart goes out to their family and we are asking for many people to lift him up to God. thank you so much. we can't say it enough. one day at a time.
-love-

7th inning stretch

i'm not ashamed or too humble to say that malachi is a cute kid, a really cute kid. he comes by it honestly, just take a peek at his mom. despite the high bar set by big brother, conley is by all means holding his own. he's a fighter, he's defying the odds, he's a rockstar in all of those senses. but not only that, he's one good looking kid. miniature, but just gorgeous. he's also plumping out, and a few ounces away from four pounds. joey his neighbor appears to not be on the bubble CPAP anymore, either. please pray they both get over the final obstacles in their bumpy roads. conley needs to continue to wean on his low-flow nasal cannula oxygen, and we're also praying that as they introduce the bottle soon he'll be able to coordinate the whole suck, swallow, breathe process. thank you for your faithfulness in prayer, please don't let up. one day at a time
-love-

getting old

sorry for the delay in posting. we've been overwhelmingly busy. thank you for your patience. conley has been busy too: growing, being cute, and the like. i got to hold him again today on my chest, skin to skin. a great experience until i felt like he was slipping off me, my arm started to fall asleep and i began to feel something i don't normally feel: nervousness. i'm not a nervous person by nature (i have plenty of other issues, though, trust me). i'm a person who is over-confident and feels he can handle everything. that feeling that something i hold so dear might be in jeopardy or that i'm actually not capable of rectifying a potential problem is horrid. i don't like it. ready for him to come home. so many lessons i'd rather not learn, however, Someone must know me better than i do myself. conley is about 3lbs. 11oz. still working on maturing those lungs. his eye exam wednesday showed he had some mild retina damage which he could just grow out of or might require a laser surgery. please pray for the former. one day at a time.
-love-
p.s. pictured above is pat, conley's primary nurse, and a resident saint of the NICU.

favorites

there are so many great nurses at the NICU. like any other situation though, you form special relationships with certain people. conley has formed relationships with a few, including Pat, his primary nurse and one of his most favorites day nurses. she knows conley like the back of her hand and she gave me the scoop this morning. he's doing great. the weight he's gaining is real weight, not water weight. his lungs are clear and they're weaning him on his oxygen. the pressure is at the lowest setting and they're weaning the oxygen content. they increased him to 30cc every three hours. that's a full ounce every three hours. he has his dad's appetite. please keep praying he continues onward at such a good pace and that we're able to work our schedule in such a way that we can hold him enough and give him the human contact he needs. thanks so much. we're getting there one day at a time.
-love-

baby brother

so lots of developments to update y'all on. conley is doing really well. he's now on a regular nasal cannula and bouncing between the lowest to the second to lowest setting on pressure. after he weans down on that, he'll wean on probably one more setting and i think that will be it for help breathing. he's weighing in at 3lbs. 7oz. and looking great. he was held by his auntie dorie this week, among a few others.

RSV (Respiratory something Virus) season is over and so siblings who are in good health are allowed into the NICU (i'm just thankful that parents not necessarily in good mental health have been allowed in for some time now... ahem). the first thing malachi said was "conley, baby brother."

also, thanks for all your prayers, conley's neighbor (whose name is joey) is doing better. his mom and dad were super happy to hear so many people are praying for him. he's off the hi-frequency ventilator and moving in the right direction. please keep him in your prayers. well, we can't be more grateful for how far we made it as of now. our family has come together, finally, even for a moment. one day at a time.

-love-

grandpa's day

grandpa and i both got to hold conley today. he's looking good. they've held off on the diuretics still and he doesn't seem to be working any harder to breathe, in fact they began to wean him on the pressure of his high-flow nasal oxygen, so he's got that going for him...
it's so nice to hold his still small (but much larger than before) body in my arms. you can feel him breathing and he'll just sit there and kind of open his eyes a little until he realizes the fluorescent lighting is still on. sometimes he'll fall asleep or just be resting and he'll have a little dream about Hawaii or mom's belly such that he cracks this wide-open smile. then you can see his little tongue and gums and study even more of the detail. he, like every child, is a miracle. please pray that he continues to do well in his breathing and excreting fluids. no official update on his neighbor. he was on the hi-frequency ventilator today, but still there, which is good. one day at a time, for the dozens of us parents attached to that room.
-love-